Some that know me may
understand this and some may not J
This week in class we
explored the “Kingdom of God” and what its looks like to “Advance” the Kingdom
of God. We pulled apart the 10 commandments and truly opened up a much larger
perspective of what God was trying to teach us through each. Woven through was
God’s amazing LOVE for us. He demonstrates HIS Merciful LOVE for us as HE sets
up boundaries in which we are to live. HE knows the big picture of life. HE knows the human heart. HE knows the outcomes of our choices and then
sets us free to live with FREE WILL. As we follow within the boundaries of HIS
commandments, we learn to walk in LOVE and advance HIS LOVE throughout the
world.
Through some tears, and
rampant journaling I remembered Gods Word sharing “Come to me all ye are weary
and heavy laden and I will give you rest”.
I have come to believe that HE is giving me rest! HE has brought me to
Mercy Ships to “Live and Love in Community with like minded people. He has
placed me where I can LOVE without resistance. Patients are in need of God’s
LOVE, and I desire to LOVE. It’s a WIN/WIN for all of us.
For those who do not know
me, I grew up in an environment that did not know the love of God. We said we
“loved” each other, yet it was mixed with so much confusion and conflict
instead of peace and joy. I was that undisciplined, wild girl running around
looking for love in all the wrong places. I settled for whatever gave me a
glimpse of love. The outcome was years of trying to glean “love” out of
non-loving thoughts, behaviors and actions. True, Godly love was never
cultivated in me, thus, I did not have the ability to cultivate it within my
own family. The outcome of course, has been lots of pain, sadness and a broken
family unit.
Then, one day, 14 years
ago, I heard the gospel. I learned about the LOVE of God and have been soaking
up HIS absolute truth ever since. I love the verse when Jesus says ”Come, follow
me”. I hear him saying, Come, follow me. I will forgive you of the past. I will
give you a new perspective. I will clean up your heart and reveal TRUE LOVE to
you.
Psalm 51 resonates so well
with me at this point in my life!! This is the “time” HE is cleaning me up,
blotting out my transgressions, washing away my iniquity, cleansing me from my
sin, and cleansing me with hyssop. He is allowing me to hear joy and gladness
and renewing a steadfast spirit in me. He is creating in me a pure heart and
promises never to leave my side!
Rodeo with My On-Boarding Group |
Then, scripture says “I
will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you”. I
smile, as I know that HE has given me a passion and skill set to teach others,
but for now, I can table it and allow HIM to cultivate a new spirit in me J
Cultivating a New Spirit in Me :) Benin 2017 |
HE IS AMAZING and HE has REVEALED all to us!!! He has provided all of this for me!! HE provided lovely renters at the last minute and friends and family that are helping to subsidized HIS mission to advance HIS Kingdom of LOVE and Salvation for all :) He has provided me with prayer warriors back home and surrounded me with Loving, Godly People.
For now, I am choosing to sit back and absorb ALL of
God without so much facebook sharing and blogging. For all of those praying and
supporting me, please know your love, encouragement and financial support are
being well utilized even if I do not share much. This ole gal just needs some
time to absorb and process all that God IS!!!
Psalm
51
Have
mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For
I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Cleanse me
with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create
in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then
I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
so that sinners will turn back to you.
Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
May
it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.